The Black Eyed Peas: An Examination - By Dom

The Black Eyed Peas have become a Pop-Rap (yes, this is a genre) sensation around the world, with their "vigilant hip-hop roots" it seems they are on their way to global domination...

Oh wait though, they still suck, and they're talentless hacks. Their song "Pump It" is the latest and most annoying of a slew of musical slaughter. The catchy backround that many people think is so "catchy" and "clever" is really Dick Dales, Misirlou. (If you want fucking proof go watch Pulp Fiction assholes)

I have to admit though they are fantastic dancers. Here's a live performance of the Black Eyed Peas, excusing the fact they they sound worse live than they do on album, look at how the lead singer runs in place like a fucking moron, well, ok we'll let it go since the song is called, "Let's Get Retarded." I mean, the critics are right though, they are great dancers.. in their digitally enhanced music videos, I can really see what all those "years of breakdancing in the LA streets" has done to them.

Even worse than their music is the mentality and make-up of the band, let's have a look shall we?

William

The "creative" leader of the pack, having faced personal demons on the streets of L.A., he says he's now happy of how his "band" has created such "original" and "revolutionary" sounds. You're right William, in fact, you found the idea for "Pump It" how?

"'I was in Brazil doing some CD shopping," will.i.am recalls. "I came across this compilation and I thought it was one thing but it turned out to be something else. The Dick Dale song 'Miserlou,' was on it. At first I was angry – this isn't what I wanted to buy," he laughs. "But then, really, that song is hot. I said, 'we should do a song like this.' I jump-started the computer and made some beats on the train. Then we had to fly to Tokyo and I tightened up the beat on the plane. Then I recorded vocals in this park in Tokyo. And that's how we recorded the song, 'Pump It.'"

Awsome job, Will. Your perseverance and ability to steal a song off of a CD and then mish-mash it into a shitty hip-hop song over the course of a plane ride is certainly "original" and "revolutionary".

Fergie

Finally! Some gender equality! William reports that his band recruited Fergie to, "use her music as a therapeutic vehicle." If you consider scratching your nails across a chalkboard to be therapeutic, then I'm all for letting her sing. At least she's attractive, I think she should just do what everyone is thinking and go pose in a low rate porno mag.

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Nothing else needs to be said...

Taboo

When I first looked at this guy(?) I asked myself why the Black Eyed Peas, who apparently want to spread a positive message to the world, would recruit a fucking child molestor? This dumbass is by far the most idiotic looking of the group and probably sneaks into the local child day care center over the weekends. He also has a striking resemblance to the proboscis monkey:

The Black Eyed Peas have been a scar on the music community since their beginning, no matter how popular they are. Their large fanbase doesn't mean they're a good band, it's just another example of people following what MTV shows as their next music video.

The Black Eyed Peas SUCK.