The New Warriors Album Really Is Shitty

When I received the new Warriors album, beyond the noise, I had one thing in my head: white bandanas. Maybe it’s the bullshit tough guy hardcore scene that has brewed around bands like The Warriors and Hoods, but the music itself has become increasingly irrelevant. Tough Guy Hardcore is essentially composed specifically to get the meat-headed pricks into the pit to start fights. It’s been a long time since music meant absolutely nothing to a music scene.

The Warriors is in no way shape or form an exception to this rule. The first track, Dice Game has a chugging guitar riff and a chorus that evokes guys with shaved heads throwing their fists up and singing along after a perfectly heterosexual dogpile. Two tracks into the album you can already feel like a fascist group is outside of your window chanting about amateur cage-fighting. Ian MacKaye, I hope you’re fucking happy.

I wonder if the “musicians” that make up these bands are perfectly content with the fact that the music they make is not creative whatsoever. The Warriors sounds like an over-produced RATM cover band made up entirely of 14 year old middle school drop outs. The lead singer rips off Zach de la Rocha so closely. Down to the “somewhat quieter growl of the words ‘everything lies’” to the day one guitar riffs that make Pete Wentz sound like Omar Rodriguez, The Warriors prove themselves to be nothing but hacks; chanting, yelling hacks.

The album itself masks it’s boring, artless concept with interludes that G!YBE would scoff at with a gaping mouth and pointed fingers. Distinguishing between tracks is downright impossible because every song sounds the same. If you’re one of these tough guy assholes who feels the need to “get pumped” before you knock out some kid in an Appleseed Cast t-shirt, just do us all a favor and get one track of this mediocre nonsense so The Warriors can feel discouraged to never play a show or release another disc again. Beyond the Noise is the worst shitheap I have ever shoveled into my ears voluntarily.

Score? 1.5 out of 5.